Dark Side of the Moon
by Cedarleaf
Summary: Because for every yang, there's a yin. Because every rose has its thorns. Because one cannot know joy without first knowing suffering. [SoraxRoxas dabbles].
1. The Forgotten One

A.N. I shamelessly admit that I am a hopeless romantic and I love happy endings because I always hope for the best no matter how bleak a situation might be. And for the most part, I feel I have passed that... philosophy, if you will, on to my fanfics.

Not this one.

These are my dark stories, my gut wrenchers, the ones that rip your heart out. Some of them are just drabbles. Others are excerpts from various plotlines that I've come up with that I just don't think I'll ever get around to actually writing. Either way, they are dark, angsty, and sin runs rampant. Think of this as Cinnamon & Vanilla's evil twin.

And don't except a happy ending.

-O-

**Dark Side of the Moon**

-O-

The Forgotten One

I honestly can't remember the day Sora and I became friends. It was just too long ago. Even so, my earliest memory of him is when he and I were working out of one of our school books in his living room. I lived down the street, but my parents paid for me to be home schooled together with Sora by his mother, a former teacher.

After our studies for the day were done, we would play together. At his house, at mine, in the sandbox, in the mud, we would play. We even tried to build a tree house in my backyard once, but we never really got around to finishing it. All the way from preschool until sixth grade, he and I were each other's closest, and oftentimes only, companion. We were both only children and while I had cousins who were my age, they lived almost a thousand miles away and I almost never saw them. Yes, Sora was my best friend, my world, my universe. And I loved him dearly.

Then came seventh grade, and our parents decided it was time for us to join other kids our age in a proper middle school. It wasn't so bad, definitely not Sora's living room, but still interesting and different, if a little intimidating at first. Yes, I think it's fair to say I liked being in middle school.

Or rather, I would have, if for not one tiny little detail.

They separated me from Sora.

To help students make the transition from sixth grade to seventh, the students of the same grade were separated into groups called cores. While they may have had classes at different times, students of a core had the same teacher for all their mandatory classes; English, Math, Science, Reading, and Social Studies. Sora was placed in the Blue Jazz core. I went into the Red Nocturne core.

This actually wouldn't have been a problem. We had the same lunch and gym class, and we always walked home together, and we were still thick as thieves, so it was alright. I became friends with these three kids from my core, Hayner, Pence, and Olette, while Sora did the same with Kairi and Riku. And for a time, the seven of us were our own little gang, hanging out after school together. Kairi was nice and almost as sweet as Sora, but I had my doubts about Riku, not that there was any lost love between us. We would put up with each other for Sora's sake, but there was something about him I just didn't trust. Still, he'd passed Sora's inspection, so I let it slide. Sora, however, continued to be the center of my universe.

My uneasiness increased as time passed and Sora spent more and more time with Riku. Sora was fascinated by him, almost to the point of infatuation. I tried to be supportive. Sora was bubbly and contagious and spreading his infectious good spirits was absolutely vital nourishment for his soul, so I tried to hide my feelings about it and just watch out for Sora as best I could, as I had always done.

As Riku was a year older than us, in eighth grade he moved on to high school, and for a while, I had Sora almost to myself again. It was then that I realized I was in love with my best friend.

But my relief was short lived. We graduated from middle school and moved on to high school. With Riku back in the picture, I got put on the backburner of Sora's friendships. We weren't separated into cores anymore, but Sora and I still didn't have any classes together. As weeks and months passed, my once best friend and I talked less and less and less. Our relationship had become so superficial. We didn't share each other's deep secrets anymore, the kind that binds two people's souls together.

Then one day near the end of our freshman year, I spotted Sora and Riku walking together in the hallway, hand in hand. Sora passed less than three feet from me but didn't even bat an eyelash in my direction, so consumed was he in Riku.

It's now a few weeks before the beginning of junior year, and we haven't spoken since.

I was his best friend first! I _loved_ him first!

So why was I the one who was tossed aside?

And the most painful thing of all is... Even though he has forgotten me, I still love him anyway.

-O-

A.N. Reviews are love.


	2. Fallen

A.N. I originally posted this in my other fic, Cinnamon & Vanilla, but since I've started this fic, I've decided that C&V will be reserved for fun, fluffy, lighthearted stories while dark, ansty, edgy stories will be for DSotM. I wrote this a while ago after reading chapter 3 of ejaculatedteabag's _Falling Like Stars_ (go read it if you haven't already).

-O-

**Dark Side of the Moon**

-O-

Fallen

He deserved this. Roxas never wanted to break up in the first place. He'd had the courage to hold on, to stand up and defend their love from whatever might threaten it, be it society or their own parents. Sora was the coward. He was the one who'd lost his nerve and decided it was time they should try to "fit in."

Now Roxas was getting back at him by throwing himself at whoever would have him. Sora could only stand there and watch as the slimeball for this week slipped an arm around his brother's waist and the blond let him with a teasing smile. Sora could only watch as Roxas let himself be used like a slut. And he deserved every bit of it.

The sleeze bag trailed one hand down Roxas' elegant back to cop a feel on his ass. Sora would have given anything to break the guy's arm off bit by bit and feed it to a pack of wolves.

"Roxas, I am still your brother and I-" Sora had tried one time but Roxas wrenched his arm away and glared at his twin with such contempt, Sora had felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

"_And that means what_?" Roxas hissed at him, venom dripping from his every word, the pain in his eyes shining clear as day.

And Sora knew Roxas was as heartbroken as he.

Now, he could only watch as that bastard claimed his Roxas' soft coral lips.

He deserved this. He deserved this pain and this torment of seeing his brother, his beloved Roxas, fall from grace. And the worst part was Sora could catch him at any time, but to do so would require the sacrifice of everything he'd ever done to bring them back into the light of heaven.

He broke the heart of an angel. And now he could only endure his punishment. He deserved it.


	3. Across the Stars

A.N. This was named after the song, "Across the Stars" by John Williams, which inspired me to write this.

-O-

**Dark Side of the Moon**

-O-

Across the Stars

It was the day of Sora and Kairi's wedding.

In his dressing room, Sora fidgeted uncomfortably in his heavy formal robes as he waited. "I feel like a doll in a straight-jacket," he mumbled.

"Oh, hush. You're very handsome," Roxas remarked, straightening the garments so they were a little more comfortable. The groom let out a snort of disbelief.

They were the only ones left in the dressing room now. Everyone else had already gone to oversee final preparations for the ceremony.

"I can't believe this is finally it," Sora said quietly, staring at his reflection in the mirror. Roxas could see awe and love shining in those blue eyes. Kairi had had much the same look when he'd caught a glimpse of her earlier, all dressed up in her white flowing gown, looking every bit the fairy tale princess about to marry her knight in shining armor. She and Sora would be happy together, Roxas was sure of that.

The brunette turned from the mirror and smiled nervously at his companion. Roxas tried to smile back, but he couldn't. His heart was too heavy.

Sensing his former lover's distress, Sora asked, "What is it?"

"Nothing," the blond replied quickly, turning away but the other caught him by the arm, preventing his escape.

"Roxas, we talked about this," Sora tried, but the blond cut him off.

"It's not that, Sora," Roxas said. "You know I think it right of you to do this."

The groom swallowed hard. "What is it, then?" he asked.

"Nothing you can help me with," Roxas told him. "Please, don't worry about it. I would never forgive myself if I ruined such a special day because I distracted you with petty concerns."

"And how can I just let it go knowing that one of the people I care about most is so unhappy?" Sora argued.

Roxas fought back a sigh of frustrastion. He didn't want to fight with Sora the last time they would ever see each other.

Not that Sora knew that.

"Listen to me," he said, taking the brunette's face in his own, forcing Sora to look him directly in the eye. "In not but an hour, you and Kairi will marry. She will be your wife, and you will put her before all others. Do not go into that sacred bond with your mind consumed with someone else."

They stared at each other for a long, hard moment in a silent battle of wills.

"Just this once, let me deal with it alone," Roxas pleaded softly. "For both our sakes."

With great reluctance, Sora said, "Alright, but the second I get back, you are telling me everything."

"Of course," Roxas agreed, lying through his teeth.

-O-

It was a virtual storm of confetti, flower petals, and cheering people after the ceremony as the newly-wed couple burst from the cathedral and down the steps to the carriage that would take them away.

Climbing into it after his bride, Sora turned to wave goodbye to all the well-wishers, his smile faultering a little as he failed to spot one face in particular. But then Kairi pulled him the rest of the way into the carriage with her and it whisked them away.

Roxas watched them go from his hiding place on an upstairs balcony, blowing Sora a kiss goodbye.

-O-

A week later, he was all set to leave. All his affairs were in order, his things were packed, and the Keyblade had been returned to its pedestal. Roxas had only to wait for midnight.

He sat in his apartment, waiting, thinking, going over every last detail of his plan in his mind, anything to keep his thoughts from drifting to the brown-haired young man he would soon be leaving behind. It was cruel to leave without so much as a note saying goodbye, but he had to do this now. If he delayed for much longer, he'd be too far along to travel safely.

Roxas touched his belly tenderly, the feel of the growing bump there helping to strengthen his resolve.

Massaging his stomach gently, the blond reflected that he and Sora were lovers for years with nothing happening, and yet a single tryst some three months ago resulted in this. Roxas suspected that it must have been one of Vexen's and the Organization's experiments on him that made it possible for him be even be with child. If it was true, it almost made that horrid time in his life worth it.

No, Roxas was not sorry at all for what had happened. He was just sorry he had to leave to protect all three of them.

In the distance, the great bells of the very cathedral Sora and Kairi had been married in chimed quarter to midnight. It was time for him to go.

Slipping out of the apartment building, Roxas made his way silently through the town to the palace grounds, carefully avoiding the guards or anyone else who might try to stop him. Passing through the gardens, he happened to pass one of the many sculptures there.

It was a statue of Sora, flanked by similar sculptures of Riku and Roxas himself on either side. Reaching up, Roxas brushed his fingertips across a smooth marble cheek.

Sora disliked being hero-worshipped and so never cared for the statue, claiming it didn't really look like him anyway, but Roxas had always thought it captured his kindness, gentleness, and courage rather well. Not that anything could ever compare to the real thing, of course.

Gazing at it, Roxas felt his resolved waiver. The full weight of what he was about to do seemed to crush down on him until he felt he could hardly breathe. He bowed his golden head to rest his forehead against the statue's chest, a part of him desperately wishing that marble would be transformed into flesh and that the real Sora would somehow appear, take Roxas in his arms and kiss him until kingdom come.

But then the moment of weakness passed, and Roxas straightened. Cupping the statue's face, he graced its lips with a kiss, and whispered, "Goodbye, Sora. I love you."

Then, calling upon powers he'd sworn to the king himself never to use again, Roxas opened a portal of darkness before him and stepped through it to the world beyond, never to return.

-O-


	4. Stolen Heart

A.N. The scenario for this story is not mine. It's based off a fanfic of the same name, written by Hakumei-chan (there's a link to it on my profile page under my favorites). In it, Roxas Itsuwari is Shadow, the phantom thief, notorious for his ability to evade even the toughest of security and law enforcement. Sora Hikari, a Japanese special agent despite his young age, is transferred to Twilight Town to aid in capturing the elusive criminal. Sora swears to bring Shadow to justice, and Roxas sets his sights on stealing the ultimate prize: Sora's heart.

I always thought it was just such a cool concept, not to mention a lotta fun getting to play around with badboy!Roxas for once, so I asked Hakumei-chan if I could borrow it to write a little something for Valentine's Day… _last year_. Sheesh, am I slow with this stuff or what? Anyway, it doesn't quite follow the trying-to-rip-your-guts-out-with-angst requirement I've set for this fic (hell, compared to the others, this one's downright happy), but it didn't really fit in C&V, so here ya go. Also, this is my first time really writing a make-out scene, so be nice, okay?

-O-

**Dark Side of the Moon**

-O-

Stolen Heart

Sora cursed, sprinting hard to keep Shadow within his sights. Despite numerous alarms and full security, the little miscreant had managed to steal the golden lamp of Agrabah right out from under the police's noses.

Again.

Only this time, Sora had managed to follow him once he'd left the museum. This time, Sora was going to finally catch him and put the pest behind bars where he belonged.

Up ahead, Shadow ducked left into an alley, one Sora knew to be a dead-end.

'_He's going to take the rooftops, huh? I don't think so!_' Using a nearby trash can as a stepping stool, Sora leaped onto the fire escape connected to the building that separated him from his quarry. He dashed up the rickety metal stairs as fast but as quietly as he could. It wouldn't do to alert Shadow that he was coming.

Sure enough, just as Sora reached to top of the escape, the most annoying thief in Twilight Town vaulted himself onto the roof. He crouched, cat-like, turning around to peer over the edge down into the alley he'd just come from. It was obvious he was looking to see where his pursuer had gone.

'_I'm right here, bastard,_' Sora thought, drawing his side arm. Creeping up behind the unsuspecting Shadow, Sora kept the gun trained on his heart. Just a bit further…

Before he could react, Shadow whipped around, kicking Sora's legs out from underneath him. The brunette fell with a startled cry, his gun falling out of his hand. Shadow tackled him the rest of the way down, pinning him to the roof.

"Well, well. What have we here?" a voice purred in his ear. Sora bucked, trying to throw the other boy off, but Shadow's hold on him was solid. The thief chuckled. "Feisty today, aren't we?"

"Get. Off," Sora ground out through his teeth, but Shadow did no such thing.

"You shouldn't have tried to sneak up on me," he scolded teasingly. "That's my job."

They stared each other down, Sora glaring at Shadow and mask or no mask, he could tell Shadow was smirking right back. Before he could blink however, there was a pair of cloth covered lips pressing against his own. Caught completely by surprise, Sora froze.

"Catch you around, sexy," Shadow whispered before his weight disappeared from atop Sora. The young officer wrenched himself upright just in time to see the other jump back down onto the street. Even as he fought down a furious blush for reasons he didn't care to think about, Sora jumped after him, pausing only to pick up his gun.

"Wait!" he called, but Shadow paid him no heed, already half a block away by the time Sora had made it back down to the ground. The brunette cursed Shadow's almost unnatural speed, but tore after him anyway. The thief turned right onto Daniel Street. Sora rounded the same corner, following his quarry straight into the park, having spotted Shadow disappearing into the trees.

But then he slipped. Time seemed to hang for a moment and he fell hard onto the pavement. Sora felt a crack as the back of his head smacked against the concrete and he cried out in surprise and pain.

Dimly, he heard the footsteps ahead of him stop. Then everything faded into darkness.

-O-

Pain. It was all Sora felt or knew when he came to. His head, his legs, everywhere. It didn't help that there was a blinding light in his face, he couldn't move his neck, and when he tried to move the light away, he found that his wrists seemed to be tied to something above his head. "Ugh… Where am I?" he wondered aloud.

"You're at my place," said a voice from behind the light.

A voice Sora knew all too well. "You!"

"Me," Shadow confirmed. There was the sound of paper being crumpled and a bottle being opened.

"What are you doing?" the officer asked as something wet and mildly stinging was pressed against his cheek. The light was strong, he couldn't keep his eyes open for very long and even when he did, he couldn't make out anything except at the very edges of his vision, which wasn't much as he couldn't move his neck. He could only discern that he was lying on a bed, probably a bunk bed as he could just make out some kind of extremely low ceiling above him. There was a light-colored wall to his right and behind his head. He felt the mattress shift as Shadow leaned forward.

"Taking care of you, what's it look like?" Shadow said, carefully applying a band aid.

Sora frowned, confused. "But you're a-"

"A thief?" the other supplied, not sounding upset in the least. "You took a nasty fall, Sora. I couldn't just leave you lying there. I may be a criminal, but I'm not heartless."

"Why'd you bring me here? You could have just called an ambulance."

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't have gotten the chance to talk to you, would I?"

Sora stilled, a strange nervousness prickling through him. "And why would you want to talk to me?"

He felt Shadow smirk rather than saw him. The light was still blinding him.

"Because you have something of mine," the other said.

"I do? Why don't you just take it, then?"

"Oh, no. See, it can't be gotten back so easily. As a matter of fact, I'd say it'll be my toughest theft yet. But that's okay. I enjoy the challenge."

Sora had no idea what the hell he was talking about. He felt something heavy be put around his neck. "What's this?"

"The Dragon Sapphire Necklace," Shadow told him, a hint of pride in his voice. "I stole it from the museum the day before you arrived."

Sora frowned. "And you're giving it to be because…?"

"A show of good faith," the other said. "To assure to museum that the artifacts I've acquired from them are being well cared for."

"You seem decent enough," Sora said slowly, "and with your skills, you could win an athletic scholarship anywhere you wanted. Why resort to stealing?"

"Because I can," Shadow replied evenly, "because I love the thrill of going against the best and beating them. It was never about the money, if that's what you're thinking."

The thief continued, "Since we're playing twenty questions, how'd you come to be a cop?"

Sora said nothing. He had nothing to say to a criminal he was working his ass off to put behind bars.

Shadow just sniffed as his "house guest" refused to relinquish his right to remain silent, asking instead, "Hungry?"

"What?"

There was an exasperated noise usually accompanied by an eye roll. "Are you hungry?" Shadow asked again.

"No," Sora said, not about to trust anything the other gave him, but his stomach growled loudly, betraying the lie almost immediately.

"Of course, you're not," Shadow sniffed. "Hope you like sushi, here."

"I'll eat only if you take a bite out of every piece first."

"I didn't spike the fish, Sora."

"I don't know that," the brunette countered.

Shadow probably rolled his eyes again, but he honored Sora's request. Every piece of sushi the thief fed him had a small bite taken out of it. It was actually good sushi, too, some of the best he'd had outside of Japan. Shadow also gave him a few sips of water to wash it down, even had a napkin at the ready to catch the excess water that dripped down the side of Sora's face.

"Thanks," Sora muttered. With Shadow being so… well, nice, he was having a hard time continuing to treat the other boy as an enemy. Sora reminded himself that Shadow had him tied down to the bed. It helped, a little. "I'm still going to catch you, Shadow," he said.

"Oh, please do," the other boy replied. "I'd be furious if I got caught by those old farts down at the station."

It was a testament to how well they had come to know each other that Sora was able to tell Shadow was being completely serious. He knew he should say something to defend his fellow officers, but Sora privately agreed that the Twilight Town police did tend to be a little lazy.

He knew he should be keeping his distance, shouldn't be getting friendly with a criminal. But Sora had spent months analyzing Shadow's patterns and escapes, had spent countless hours and sleepless nights fixating on (and secretly admiring) this one pesky thief, to the point of being almost completely consumed by thoughts of only Shadow. Over all this time, he had come to realize that he and Shadow were young kindred souls in a harsh, adult world, even if they were on opposing sides of the law. Against his will and his training, he found himself wanting to talk, to be friends.

"Why are you doing this?" Sora mumbled, not sure if was asking the thief or himself. Even if he couldn't see Shadow's face, he could still feel the other's piercing gaze.

"I told you," the thief murmured, "you stole something of mine. You stole it the moment I laid eyes on you."

An ungloved hand reached out, gently cupping Sora's cheek. Shadow's voice went lower and huskier still as he whispered, "And I will have it back."

Then, without warning, the lamp was switched off, and a pair of warm, slightly chapped lips lay claim to his own.

Shadow had been hitting on Sora since day one, but not once had the brunette ever taken him seriously, not even after that stolen kiss on the rooftop. Shadow was the type to flirt with anybody.

But the kiss was tender, gentle, not harsh and demanding and arrogant as Sora would have expected. He protested, trying to throw the other off him, but Shadow merely continued to kiss him softly, lovingly, and Sora began to think he'd been wrong to dismiss the thief's advances. And why was he feeling so light-headed?

He shouldn't be doing this! A top agent from Japan shouldn't be kissing the very thief he'd come halfway across the world to bring to justice! Especially ones that have girlfriends waiting for them back home!

The thief's lips continued to caress his own and despite his best efforts to resist it, Sora found his entire world slowly narrowed to the almost intoxicating affection coming from the boy above him.

He shouldn't be kissing Shadow, but in spite of everything, Sora found he couldn't _not_ kiss him.

And then it finally hit him, and Sora realized, '_Oh god, I'm infatuated with him!_'

The insufferable bastard probably knew it, too. Jerk.

Finally tossing his cop self aside, Sora struggled against the bindings on his hands anew, not to try to escape but to return Shadow's affections, to touch him and caress him. The restrain on his right wrist clinked metallically.

"Are… are those _my_ cuffs?" he huffed, having difficulty drawing breath.

"Mm hmm!" Shadow chirped, removing the brace he'd used to keep the brunette's neck immobile so he could nibble on Sora's neck.

"Ass," the brunette gasped as the other bit down on a particularly sensitive spot.

Shadow snickered, continuing his assault until Sora was practically mewling at every lick and nibble. It seemed the thief was as good with his mouth and hands as he was at evading law enforcement.

So enveloped was he in Shadow's caresses, he barely registered a gentle rustling on the binding of his left wrist. A moment later, his hand was free, and Sora buried it in the other's hair, wrenching Shadow upright. He slid his tongue across the other's lips, and Shadow opened for him instantly. By now, the thief was fully lying on top on him, and Sora could feel those strong runner's legs wrap around his own.

Shadow used his leverage to turn the tables, making Sora moan with a generous swipe to his palate. The brunette got him back for it, sucking hard on the other's slick tongue and then it was Shadow's turn to shudder.

But before he could take advantage of Shadow's lapse in concentration, he suddenly noticed an overwhelming haziness in his mind, clouding his thoughts, making him sleepy. A haziness that was not passion induced.

"You drugged me," he mumbled, fighting to stay conscious.

"I can't have you knowing the way back here," Shadow said, sounding truly apologetic. Even several minutes after the light had been turned off, Sora still couldn't make him out as any more than a black shape in the darkness.

Shadow kissed him tenderly. "Rest for now," he murmured against the other's lips. "You'll be home soon."

"Shadow, I…." But before Sore could utter another word, he was asleep.

-O-

Roxas waited a full five minutes, until he was sure Sora was completely under, then turned on the lamp. He winced at the sudden brightness, but Sora didn't so much as twitch, and the blond allowed himself a breath of relief.

Roxas gave the slumbering boy a few more sips of the sleeping agent laced water just to be sure he'd stay under through transportation back to the park.

He'd taken an enormous risk in bringing the other boy here. If Sora had woken up en route or before Roxas had properly prepared his room, the gig would have been up and Roxas would have been facing two years in juvenile hall. If they hadn't tried him as an adult, that is.

But regardless of the risk, it had been more than worth it. The blond would have been contented with just a chance to really talk with Sora as Shadow and maybe ogle him a little up close.

To have actually, finally kissed him was worth all the treasure in the world, Roxas thought, brushing the boy's bangs out of his eyes.

The stakes were getting higher than Roxas had ever realized they'd be. It both scared and thrilled him. He was falling deeper in love with Sora than he ever realized he could.

Roxas placed a gentle kiss on the sleeping boy's lips, then set about getting everything ready to take him back.

-O-

For the second time that day, Sora found himself regaining consciousness in a place he didn't know.

He was lying on a bench in a park, probably the same one he'd chased Shadow into before. It was quiet. To the east, the first rays of the morning were just breaking over the horizon, but overhead, clouds were gathering. Angry grey and swollen with rain, the clouds were strangely calming to the young special agent lying beneath them. Sora stared up at them emptily, locked in his own inner turmoil.

But even as the first drops began to fall, they did nothing to soothe Sora's uncertain heart, nor did they salve the almost painful desire of remembered sensation that burned through him even now.

-O-

A.N. The review button is your pimp! Click it!


	5. My Immortal

A.N. Everybody and their mother seems to be writing a vampire fic these days so I thought, what the hey, why not. It was only after I wrote it that I realized that I was unconsciously paralleling the first vampire story I ever fell in love with, _The Silver Kiss_ by Annette Curtis Klause. I seriously love the ending of that book, even if it's really sad, though I suppose it's just the natural ending for a vampire who kept himself around only for a vendetta. I may or may not write another little story on my own personal opinion on the relationship between the mortal and the immortal, but for now, I hope you all enjoy this instead.

-O-

**Dark Side of the Moon**

-O-

My Immortal

He told me youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. I didn't want to live forever, for without death, life has no meaning. All I wanted was to be with him. If he couldn't give up his immortality to be with me, then I would gladly give up my mortality to be with him. Because I loved him that much.

Then he asked me a question, a question that to this day chills me to the bone.

He asked me that, if I was completely honest with myself, if I could stand the blood for the rest of eternity. I knew I could stand the eternal night. Giving up the sun would be hard, but for him I could do it. Hell, I might even be able to get used to having to sleep in a coffin if I had Sora to snuggle up to. Even the never-ending cold was acceptable to me, just as long as I could have him.

But the blood?

Sora told me that whatever my determination, the moment I was turned, blood would become my undivided obsession. There was a reason why young vampires were notoriously murderous, so immense was their lust for the thick red liquid of life. It was sometimes decades before true rational thought returned to them.

No, the bloodlust would destroy me. I could never take the life of another, even for the sake of my own and Sora knew it. He would not turn me, and even if I could find another vampire, I couldn't have them turn me either. I could not disregard Sora so.

Nor could I ask him to stay with me. Sora's sole reason of existence for the past four hundred years was to hunt down and destroy Xehanort. Now, with that silver haired psychotic bastard good and truly dead, Sora's visa to exist had expired. He could no longer justify drinking blood as necessary to find and kill and even more horrific monster. Even if he did avoid killing anyone, there could still be accidents. I would allow him to drink from me whenever he wished, but my body could not possibly produce enough blood to satisfy the thirst of a full-fledged vampire. Even if I could, Sora could no more stand leeching from me than he could from humanity as a whole.

Thus I could not ask him to stay with me, but I did have another request.

If I had to part with him, I wanted to keep the memory of him with me always. I asked for a single night with him.

Sora was hesitant, not that he didn't want me, but he was afraid of what it would do to me, knowing he'd soon be gone. I was adamant. How many people, mortal or otherwise, were fortunate enough to have met and fallen in love with their soul mate? Mine was about to be taken from me forever, and my heart would rent for him for just as long. I wanted to know what it was to make love with the one for whom my heart was destined, if only just this once. And claiming my lips, Sora consented.

Dawn the next day found the two of us in the park, at the exact spot where we had first met. We had scattered his grave dirt and he had given me the locket with his family's portraits. All that was left now was to wait for the sun. He wanted to see it one last time before he faced his fate as one of the damned, the first time in almost four centuries.

And then it came.

Sora gasped behind me the moment the first rays shot out from behind the horizon. Alarmed, I looked up at him, certain I would find my lover burning to a cinder as Xehanort had. He wasn't burning, but I cried out as I realized that he was becoming transparent, literally fading from existence. I tried to grab hold of him frantically, my hands just passing right through him.

But he was smiling, staring at the new sun in awe. Tears of joy trickled down his cheeks onto my own already wet face and Sora never looked so beautiful to me. Never looked so... normal, healthy. Alive. The golden light illuminated his pale skin, making him seem to glow. There was no pain for him, no hurt. Heaven, it seemed, had forgiven him. He had not been damned, but redeemed by his choice to go willingly.

Nevermind that that choice was robbing me of him. I started sobbing then, I was so heartbroken.

Then gentle hands took me by the chin, tilting my face upwards, and my beloved graced my lips with one last tender kiss. My last memory of my beloved, my Sora, was of him smiling down at me with a peace I have never known from him, whispering, "I love you, Roxas."

Then he was gone.

-O-


	6. Kokoro

A.N. This is a continuation of Chapter 3 – _Across the Stars_. I suggest you read that first (if you haven't already) before reading this. Also, Roxas' side of things takes place in the village of Kakariko in the Hyrule of _Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. _Yeah, he ran out of the KH/Disney/FF universe altogether and into the Nintendo universe to avoid being found by Sora and company. I tried to keep the references at a minimum for those unfamiliar with the game, but the other characters ended up having a much greater role than I intended. And FYI, this story is also slightly AU. Hope you enjoy it anyway.

-O-

**Dark Side of the Moon**

-O-

Kokoro

Nestled in a deep gorge between two cliffs, Kakariko was a village locked in a strange mix of light and shadow. The dozen or so buildings were well worn by the elements, built up into the cliffs themselves to conserve what little space there was to be had. Despite its desolate appearance, though, it was a warm and very friendly place. Unlike many of the other worlds he had come across on his flight from the Kingdom, the residents here welcomed him with open arms. As far as any of them knew, he was nothing more than a simple traveler, albeit one who happened to be both male and pregnant. It had been quite an adjustment at first, getting used to all the attention the people of Kakariko gave him.

Setting his things on a rock besides the hot spring, Roxas breathed in deeply as he looked out over the still sleeping village, dawn having only just broken over the horizon. It had been five months almost to the day since he had come to this world, and six months since he'd abandoned his old world and the greatest of his life, all for the sake of a child he would have to raise alone, a child that continued to grow in his heavily swollen belly even now. Renado said it should be any day now, and though the gentle healer had advised Roxas not to strain himself by going up to the hot springs above the inn every morning, as had become his custom, that he could be a parent at any time now was all the more reason for Roxas to do so. Though he couldn't submit the baby to such extreme changes in temperature, the hot water refreshed him and lying down in the shallows greatly helped to soothe his constantly aching back and ankles.

But, perhaps most of all, Roxas cherished the time alone with the quiet and the newborn sun, to sort out his thoughts. He may be a foreigner here but Roxas was determined to learn to live in this world and become one of its people. This would be his home now. It was a good world with good people, for the most part, and as fine a place as any to raise a child. It was also so far and remote among the roads of worlds that not even Sora would be able to find him here.

Sora…

While Roxas did not regret his decision to leave his beloved and his old world, and was fully prepared to face this new future alone, he could not deny that the closer his due date approached, the more his thoughts turned to the one who's child he carried.

Deep in his belly, Roxas felt the baby stir and he placed his hand over the spot soothingly. '_You miss him, too…_' he thought, '_don't you little one?_'

Deeply honest with himself, Roxas admitted that he was frightened and missed the man who had been both his lover and his best friend. But he did not allow himself the small indulgence of fantasy anymore, where somehow Sora managed to find him, declared his love for Roxas for all time, for all the worlds to know, and they lived happily ever after raising their child together. It was a _fantasy_, one that _must not_ come to pass, and deluding himself into believing otherwise would only serve to further injure his already wounded heart. Roxas had to remain strong and would not give in, not even for Sora. Roxas had chosen his path, and now he would follow it.

Roxas had enough on his mind already. He had plenty to do yet to get ready for this baby. Renado had kindly allowed him to remain in the village until the baby was born, so he had taken it upon himself to pitch in where he could. Though he used to help Colin, Talo, and the Gorons on patrols, that was no longer an option this late into his pregnancy. So now Roxas made himself useful by taking up some of the domestic responsibilities, namely looking after the children from Ordon who were staying in Kakariko until the current political crisis was resolved, cooking meals, and such. Speaking of cooking…

The sun was fully up over the horizon now and the scent of the kitchen fire pulled Roxas out of his thoughts. It seemed someone (Luda or Ilia, probably) had beaten him to making breakfast. Hmm, he must've been up here longer than he'd thought. Oh well. He'd contemplated enough for the morning; now his new life demanded his attention. Gathering his things, Roxas decided he may as well get some food before the rest of the children woke up and ate it all. Talo alone could practically eat his weight in one sitting. The thought brought a smile to the young man's lips. '_Just like Sora._'

But then his smile faded, leaving only sadness. Roxas had sworn to give his son or daughter a happy childhood, regardless of whether Sora was there or not. These last few precious days of his pregnancy were all that he would allow himself to mourn the loss of his lover. After that, his child's and his new lives would begin.

But as he gingerly made his way back inside the inn and down the hall to his bedroom to change (male hips were _**not**_ designed for carrying babies, even walking was becoming increasingly difficult, so progress was slow) Roxas cried out as he felt a sudden intense _ripping_ pain deep behind his abdomen. The sensation ceased as suddenly as it had come but lingered, leaving Roxas trembling and weak, and he collapsed to the floor.

-O-

Sora woke so suddenly it was as if he'd been slapped in the face. But the bedroom was quiet, the only sounds being the wind whispering through the curtains and Kairi's steady breathing beside him. Sora gazed down at his still sleeping wife. A sliver of moonlight peeking through the window illuminated her soft features as she dreamed untroubled dreams.

Getting out of bed, Sora stole across the room and let himself out onto the balcony. Beyond it, the entirety of his world lay sleeping before him, a kingdom to which he'd been prince for half a year now.

Half a year since he'd married Kairi.

Half a year since Roxas had run away.

Roxas. He was never too far from Sora's thoughts these days, it seemed. The blond up and vanished into thin air without a trace, without a word to anyone, not even Namine. Roxas had also fled while Sora was on his honeymoon, the time when the one person who could have stopped him, or at least followed him, was away. Sora remembered well his shock when he'd first learned of his former lover's disappearance, outright refusing to believe it, even returning from the Islands a full week early, desperate to disprove it. And then he saw Roxas' apartment completely gutted from top to bottom of all furniture and decoration and personal possessions. Where there was once life and laughter and love was now empty, glaring white walls, erasing all evidence of Roxas and the memories they had created together in that place.

Sora never thought he could despise a color so much. But then, he never thought he'd be so angry with Roxas, either, angry and hurt. Sora had tried hard to track Roxas down, to find him and demand an explanation. But Roxas had covered his tracks well. Though he'd drawn much attention to himself by crossing worlds through the corridors of darkness, the sentries on duty had assumed the user was trying to get into their world, not escape it. Roxas had also timed his exit to coincide with the changing of the guard as well, adding to the confusion. By the time Riku had reestablished order and tracked the interloper to Agrabah, Roxas had already jumped worlds again.

Of course, Riku only realized it was Roxas he was trying to track after the blond keybearer failed to answer his summon to aid, and when they checked his apartment…

Riku had been loath to call Sora back to the palace from his honeymoon of all things, but he was left with no choice. By the time Sora arrived on the hunt, Roxas' trail had gone cold, finally dying completely in Deep Jungle. For an entire month, they had scoured that one tiny place, looking for any trace of Roxas at all, only to come up with nothing. Sora then tried to track Roxas through the Keyblade, only to discover it had been left behind in the palace all along. Not even Namine, with all her power, could find him. It seemed that Roxas had outsmarted them at every turn.

It was so like him. Sora smiled bitterly.

Clever, clever Roxas.

-O-

Awakened by his cries of pain, Talo ran to fetch Renado from the Goron village up the mountain while Ilia and Luda helped Roxas down the stairs and across the road to the shaman's hut. It was slow and painful going. Even the slightest movement sent spasms racing through his body. By the time they reached the dwelling, it was all he could do not to scream.

As Luda eased him down onto the birthing mat, Talo burst in followed closely by Colin and Beth.

"That was quick. Where's Renado?" Ilia asked them, wiping Roxas' brow with a damp cloth.

"We just send a message by hawk. He should be here soon," the boy explained.

Roxas cursed under his breath. This baby wanted _out_ and wanted out _now_. Soon couldn't come soon enough.

-O-

Realizing that he would sleep no more this night, Sora quietly dressed again before slipping out of his and Kairi's bedroom.

He wandered aimlessly, not really caring where he was going so long as his feet continued to move. He needn't worry about running into anyone. The long halls of the palace were all but silent this time of night, servants and courtiers and advisors having long since retired to bed, though Sora did pause to not his approval to a lone guard still faithfully standing at attention outside the armory. The guard nodded back courteously, for this wasn't the first time they had run into each other at this ungodly hour. Indeed, it seemed to Sora that he had taken to wandering the halls late at night quite often lately. But then, he'd had a lot on his mind lately, too.

'_Why, Roxas?_' he implored in his mind. Of all the things that had happened, what Sora couldn't understand was why. It didn't help that he was still furious with himself. Dammit, he'd known something was wrong that day in the dressing room. He should have trusted his instincts then, should have demanded the blond explain himself.

But then, that probably wouldn't have made any difference. It was obvious now that Roxas had been planning to leave for quite some time. He'd arranged for all of the furniture and such to be taken away beforehand and the walls to be repainted so his apartment would be all ready for a new tenant. He even thought to open the corridor of darkness in the palace gardens, away from the residential areas (which would have been easier) so that the sleeping people wouldn't be disturbed by the resulting commotion from the royal guards. It was a real blow that the blond had accomplished all this with Sora being none the wiser. But the fact that Roxas had willingly abandoned him so completely still stung bitterly.

'_Why not?_' a little voice in the back of his mind sneered. '_You abandoned him first, remember?_'

Something in Sora's heart clenched painfully. _No_, he had not abandoned Roxas. They'd both known the entire time they were lovers that someday Sora would have to honor his betrothal to Kairi and their relationship would have to come to an end.

Sora just hadn't expected it to have to end so soon. He loved Roxas in a way he did no one else. Letting go of that bond would be beyond difficult, but it was a sacrifice he would have to make for the sake of his kingdom. By law and tradition, the master of Kingdom Key always married the princess. Ever since it was discovered when he was five that he was the keybearer, Sora had been raised to one day be a king. It was a duty he was honored to have. It wouldn't be so bad. He and Kairi got along well, they would be a good couple. And he could even still be friends with Roxas, just not lovers.

He thought Roxas had understood. The blond himself had sacrificed much to betray the Organization and bring Namine and himself to the Kingdom.

He thought Roxas understood that… even if Sora did marry Kairi, and already loved her as a dear friend, his heart would always truly belong to Roxas…

-O-

Roxas was in agony by the time Renado finally arrived. He was certain he had already bitten through his cheek trying to withstand the pain. The baby leapt inside of him, desperate to be born.

Kneeling down beside Roxas, the shaman gently placed his large, warm hands on the younger man's stomach, carefully feeling for the baby. "It is time," he said at last. "Are you ready, Roxas?"

Tears streaming down his cheeks and mouth too full of blood and bile to reply, Roxas nodded. The healer's gentleness and calm helped to ease his panicky nerves, but a part of his soul still cried out, frightened and desperate for the warmth and comfort of his former lover. '_Sora…!_'

-O-

No, Roxas did understand, wherever he was. The blond had said as much many times, even when they were alone in the dressing room the day of the wedding. There had been no resentment in his blue eyes then. Pain, certainly, but even if they couldn't be together the way they wanted to be, Sora and Roxas had sworn to always love each other.

Sora's body burned faintly as he remembered the night they had made that promise.

Some three months before the wedding, he'd gotten cold feet with all the chaos of the preparations and had fled to the one place where he could always find comfort and solace; Roxas' apartment. It was selfish of him, seeking reassurance like that from his former lover, but Roxas had let him in with an understanding smile nonetheless. They talked, one thing led to another, and they'd ended up in each others' arms again.

It was the first and only time in a year that Sora had failed to honor his upcoming vows of monogamy to Kairi. He and Roxas had been lovers for years but that one coupling had held more weight than any other for the simple reason that they knew it would be their last.

They knew that this was good bye.

But afterward, they'd promised that, even if their destinies lay along different paths, they would always love each other and would always be there for each other.

Sora had meant every word of that vow and in his heart he knew that Roxas had, too.

_So why did he leave?_

It was this one question that he always came back to, the one that haunted him in the back of his mind and the real reason why he paced the halls at night.

He couldn't help but feel like there was something else he was missing, like there was something else in his lover's disappearance that he wasn't seeing. There had to be! Roxas wouldn't just up and leave him like that!

…Would he?

Roxas had always been very good at keeping secrets, but Sora had thought he'd known him well enough to tell when the blond was lying or trying to hide something. Had he been blind all along?

Sora clenched his jaw and fists tight, his heart rebelling what his mind was daring to suggest. He thought he was doing the right thing! Roxas, beautiful, loving, tender, generous, wonderful Roxas was gone, perhaps forever, and the thought that it could have been Sora's own heartless, selfish ignorance that could have driven him way, he couldn't bear it!

'_Sora…!_'

His heart leapt up into his throat and Sora froze dead in his tracks. He whipped around. "Roxas?"

Lost in thought on his midnight stroll, Sora had somehow wandered outside, into the heart of the palace gardens. But there was no one. The grounds were empty and, except for the wind through the trees, silent. And yet, for a moment, Sora was certain that he'd heard Roxas calling him. Had he imagined it?

It was impossible, Roxas had been long gone for months now, but Sora couldn't help but look around anyway.

Glancing around at his surroundings, Sora confirmed that he was in fact alone, but he spotted something just up ahead. In the courtyard before him were three statues. In the center stood one of Sora himself with another of Riku on its right. But on the left…

On his statue's left, its back to the real Sora, stood a sculpture of Roxas. Sora moved past the other two to look directly into its face. Though he often claimed to dislike his own statue, Sora had to admit the sculptor had been a very skilled artisan indeed. The craftsmanship of Roxas' face was nearly perfect, its expression alert, intelligent but calm and, Sora noticed for the first time, just a little bit sad.

Standing there gazing at the stone image of Roxas, all the memories Sora possessed of his former lover flashed before his mind's eye. Training and sparring together. Sharing an ice cream. Sneaking away from a ball for stolen kisses. Just lying together in Roxas' darkened bedroom, exhausted but content after a night's love making. The scent of Roxas' hair, like vanilla and honeysuckle. The tenderness of his touch and the sweetness of his kisses. The depth and passion of his love. How the longest and most grueling of days were softened by just a smile from his Roxas. His heart beating against Sora's own…

He let the memories wash over him, bittersweet as they had become. They were all he had left of Roxas now. It was too much for Sora to hope that the blond might someday return.

"I'm sorry, Roxas," Sora murmured, reaching up to touch the statue's face. His hand brushed against the sculpture of himself.

The world tilted. Sora suddenly felt light-headed, almost faint, and he wobbled on his feet for a moment before the sensation ceased and he righted himself.

_Sora found himself still standing in the courtyard, but something had changed. He wasn't alone. A figure was approaching from up ahead, silent and almost completely indistinguishable from the shadows. Sora watched them, trying to see who it was, but then the figure stepped into the enclosure._

_It was Roxas._

_Sora tried to speak, tried to call out to his love, tried to run to him, but found he couldn't move at all. He could only observe as Roxas came to stand before him, his face was partially concealed by a dark hood. For a moment, Sora thought Roxas was wearing the long black coat of Organization XIII and his heart froze. He _wouldn't…_! But no, it was only a simple traveler's cloak…_

_But how could Roxas be here? Sora could see that they were still in the gardens, but the blond had left the Kingdom months ago. So how…? Unless…_

_Unless this was a vision…_

_Riku had determined the gardens to be the place Roxas had opened the corridor of darkness, although he had been unable to pinpoint the blond's exact point of exit. Sora could just barely make out two tall, pale figures on either side of him, and he realized he was standing in place his statue in the courtyard. Was this a view into the night Roxas left?_

_Vision or no, it certainly felt real enough to Sora when Roxas reached up and brushed his fingertips across his cheek. It was one of the little gestures of affection that he'd done countless times during their time as lovers and Sora felt his heart constrict painfully. It wasn't only him. Roxas' own composure was faltering, his lovely face quivering briefly with emotion. He bowed his head to rest it against Sora's shoulder, seemingly torn against himself._

_Sora longed to reach out to him, but was held immobile, trapped in this view of the past. Nonetheless, he was surprised when Roxas suddenly straightened and kissed him._

_For an endless moment, all Sora knew was the softness of his former lover's lips, and the warmth of them almost broke him. But then Roxas pulled away, his eyes sad but focused. "Good bye, Sora," he whispered. "I love you."_

'Then why did you leave me!?_' Sora cried in his mind, but he could only watch as his lover turned from him. Summoning a corridor of darkness, Roxas disappeared into the whirling blackness and was gone from the world, to be lost somewhere among that endless sky of stars where Sora could not follow._

Then the world tilted again, and Sora collapsed to the ground in front of the three sculptures, released from the postcognition.

The look in Roxas' eyes as he'd said goodbye… Sora knew that look. He'd seen it once before, that day in the dressing room, when Roxas admitted there was something wrong but said there was nothing Sora could do to help him. It was a look of sadness and apology, but not regret. Instead, there had been determination and also, a protectiveness?

But what did it mean?

Roxas was very good at keeping secrets, Sora knew. Was it a secret that drove Roxas to run away? What kind of thing could be so powerful to force him to flee from everything and everyone he knew? And (it hurt like hell for Sora to consider this) was it _him_ that Roxas was keeping it from? Or was it pure heartbreak, that despite all of his proclaimed love for Roxas, Sora had still pledged his life to someone else?

What was it that had driven Roxas to the stars?

Sora didn't know, and it was tearing him apart.

He looked over at the statue of his former lover, standing silently beside him with sightless eyes so sad.

"_Why_, Roxas?" Sora implored to it, his voice thick with emotion. "Where are you, beloved? What aren't you telling me?"

But the Roxas before him now was only sculpture made of stone and could not answer him…

-O-

The sun was already sinking towards the western mountains by the time Luda emerged from the hut. She was covered in some sweat and much blood, but the girl didn't mind, for in her arms she held a tiny but healthy newborn baby boy. The other children gathered as soon as they saw the bundle of blankets.

"Oh, he's so tiny!" Beth cooed, making faces at him. Talo made a face too, but it wasn't in adoration. His only other experience with babies was his little brother Malo, and it was quite enough of an experience for him, thank you.

Luda just smiled and stepped past them down to the spring. By tradition, all newborns were bathed in the water of the Great Spirits' springs, to receive their blessing and protection.

Roxas watched her carefully wash his new son as Renado helped him down to the water. He was exhausted from the labor and slightly dizzy from losing so much blood and _sore_. But Roxas was ecstatic in a way he had never imagined. He quite happily put most of his weight on Renado as the shaman gently lowered him into the spring, and Roxas let out a small hiss of relief as the healing power of the water began working its magic on his battered body.

Finished cleaning the baby, Luda wrapped him in a fresh blanket that Ilia had handed to her before she waded over to his mother. Roxas took his son from her, cradling him gently in his arms, as if he'd never held anything so precious. And indeed, he hadn't.

The baby fussed in his blankets, clearly unhappy to be woken from his light nap by the cool water of the spring, but didn't cry. Roxas carefully rubbed his back to calm him. The boy gazed up at him with tiny, soft gray eyes. Already he had a small plume of light colored peach fuzz growing on his head.

"What'cha gonna call him?" Colin asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet a little in excitement.

"Kokoro," Roxas told him. It was true, for this baby truly was his heart, his son. This perfect, beautiful baby was his son, a living, breathing symbol of his and Sora's love. Gazing down at this new, tiny life, Roxas felt his heart swell up with love and pride until he honestly thought it would burst, or else sprout wings and simply fly away.

But never had he been so torn about leaving Sora and their kingdom behind. Well, leaving Sora, yes. Leaving the Kingdom, no. But Sora was prince there now, and he and the Kingdom were now all but one and the same. Had Sora been just another keybearer, Kokoro's existence might have been overlooked, but a child between a prince and a Nobody, even a former one, was forbidden. The Organization no doubt would have schemed to use him somehow for their own malicious ends. If they had tried to keep his birth a secret, someone could easily have found out and used him to blackmail one or both of his parents. If they'd been public about him, Kokoro would have grown up scorned, ridiculed by his own people.

He might have even been killed.

Kokoro could not have stayed in the Kingdom. Any knowledge of him there, even by Sora, would have been far too great a risk. Sora deserved to be here, and it broke Roxas' heart that he wasn't, even if his lover's absence was his own doing. But to do so would place Kokoro in untold danger from all sides, and that Roxas would not allow, not even for Sora.

Kokoro started fussing again, and Roxas wondered if his son knew what he was thinking. He began to hum a lullaby that Sora had sang for him many times before, called _Dearly Beloved_, and the baby settled down again. Now, more than ever, the thought of any harm coming to this sweet life horrified Roxas until the thought he would vomit.

Their baby would be safe here. Roxas swore it in blood the moment he gave birth.

But there should have been another here. It should have been Sora kneeling here beside him. Roxas could practically see the love and pride shining in those too blue eyes. Sora would have loved Kokoro so much, would have delighted in watching their son grow and teaching him to walk and run and swim and climb trees. Roxas could just see the two of them sitting on a dock in a few years, fishing together.

Yes, Sora would be a great father. Roxas wished him well with the children he would inevitably have with Kairi.

Holding his own son, his little Kokoro, and taking him in, Roxas felt the shards of his heart begin to fall back into place. And yet, he knew then that a part of him would always remain broken, knowing the three of them as a family could never be.

-O-


End file.
